In our community – Standards

By Lisa Harris

As women, we tend to set impossible standards for ourselves. The magazine images of the ideal woman leave us with the impression that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. It is a one size fits all mandate. Well, I reject this mandate. Women do not always stay 100 to 125 pounds. We grow up into more voluptuous figures that are rarely displayed by manikins. I mean think of the last time you saw a chunky manikin or a manikin with some love handles. If you are drawing a blank, it is because there are not any!

The doll that goes by the name of Barbie has had the same figure for decades. Now Barbie has had some different versions of her image, but her body is still too anatomically perfect. Has she not had kids with Ken by now? I think a few stretch marks would make her more realistic. How about cellulite Barbie? There could be an untapped market out there. Barbie could have a little inner tube around the middle. Perfection is too much pressure to put on a girl. I never had one of these Barbie dolls since I was a hard core tomboy, but I did have a Mrs. Beasley. I am not sure that she had a figure though. A realistic version of Ken could be a balding Ken doll with a big belly. He could come with his own couch and remote control. That will make those little girls get over the delusions of Prince Charming.

Women feel the need to conform to the pressures that society puts on them. The other day I went to the bowling alley and a sign said no sagging. Well darn it all. I wasn’t sure if I should go home and put on a better brazier. I felt the sting of discrimination! I decided to stay and fight the good fight. Perhaps they were referring to folks britches, but I think the double meaning was there hidden somewhere between the lines or the lanes.

The jeans that women wear fluctuate from high waist mommy jeans to hip hugger teen jeans. I hear that the style is reverting back to the high waist jeans. I guess the older crowd was doing it right all along, or the fashion industry gave up on appealing to stick figures. I have some hip hugger jeans and I spend most of my time trying to pull them up so my gut doesn’t hang over. Then you wind up with another problem that I’d rather not get into. Thank goodness higher waist jeans are coming back. Now I can be in vogue and strike a pose.

Enjoy your skinny little teenage figures girls. It’s all going to go downhill in the future, and I mean literally. Fashion magazines can set the bar ever so high, but I know how to do the limbo and go under the bar. Here’s to lowering the bar and lowering the standards!